Finding Calm When Stress Comes: Make Yourself Smile Again.
A highly competitive environment is inevitable in a modern society that prioritizes a fast pace, high ability, results orientation, and efficiency.
Whether in school, the workplace, interpersonal relationships, or romantic connections, it is difficult to escape the mentality of wanting to be the best. This intense competition, driven by the desire to excel and the belief that results are paramount, fosters stress and anxiety in everyone. Individuals frequently juggle work deadlines, academic responsibilities, and personal commitments simultaneously, heightening their stress. Consequently, many of us grapple with anxiety daily. In this results-oriented world, anxiety and stress have emerged as common challenges we must confront with every task. However, it is because we face various forms of anxiety and stress that we must learn to manage them effectively to enhance our chances of success. Mastering stress management and cultivating self-acceptance are crucial not only for our happiness but also for our overall success in life.
People often think, “I can perform better. If I work harder, I will become perfect.”
Indeed, many strive constantly to achieve the top position in various fields of society. After all, elders often say that pressure can drive self-improvement. As a result, people continuously push themselves, feeling they need to do better. This mentality of believing that one is not perfect and must always progress can be a strong motivator for self-improvement, but it also has significant adverse psychological effects. Whether it manifests as depression, anxiety, self-blame, or self-punishment, many of us find ourselves living for the approval and praise of others. This mindset leads us to do whatever it takes to achieve results, often ignoring whether our bodies, minds, and spirits can keep up. In seeking validation from others, we forget to care for ourselves.
As Mia highlights in her blog, Stop Putting Pressure on Yourself, “Maybe you’re staying up late, pushing yourself to the limit, thinking success is all about working harder, longer, faster.” We focus so much on achieving success that we overlook the pressure and anxiety accumulating within us as we push ourselves to keep progressing. Every person has a limit to how much stress they can endure, and pushing ourselves beyond this limit can lead to long-term distress. Anxiety, depression, self-punishment, and low self-esteem can emerge, and many of us, faced with constant pressure, sacrifice the joy and freedom we could otherwise enjoy in life.
One of the main reasons many people struggle to enjoy the tasks and experiences that life brings is their ‘result orientation.’ This mindset often traps people in the need to be efficient, productive, and perfect. The belief that you must be good enough to do things perfectly and earn praise can create a sense of relief when achieved. However, this focus on outcomes distracts from the true purpose of life’s tasks — learning and enjoyment. For students, for example, studying has become more about obtaining good grades and a diploma than genuinely acquiring skills and expanding knowledge. This emphasis on results can cause us to forget the true meaning of ‘learning.’ We work tirelessly to meet specific goals but lose sight of why we’re doing it in the first place. The pressure for better results slowly shifts our attention away from the essence of learning or self-improvement. We neglect the joy and effort in the process, focusing only on the outcome. This mindset moves us away from ‘real, joyful learning.’
To reduce stress, we should re-evaluate our focus when completing tasks. As Scott H. Young suggests in her blog, 5 Tips for Staying Calm-When You’re Stressed, ‘If you make your goal to show up and put in the time you planned to, rather than achieving a particular result, you can detach yourself from some of the worries you might have about the outcomes of your work.’ Instead of concentrating on unpredictable outcomes, we should focus on the effort and the journey. We should reward ourselves for the hard work we put into the task rather than basing self-worth on achieving flawless results. By adopting this mindset, we can shift our attention to personal growth. After all, the true purpose of these tasks is not to impress others but to build a better future for ourselves. The most important lesson is not what grade or evaluation we receive but what we learn during the process. Recognizing this can help us appreciate our efforts and find satisfaction in the journey.
From the above, it’s clear that many of us have gradually lost sight of the original joy and purpose of learning due to societal influences. We forgot the reasons for us to study, learn, and strive. Much of what we do aims to gain praise from a boss or recognition from a school. We find ourselves on a path that has drifted far from the true essence of ‘lifelong learning.’ Others do not impose the stress we experience; it is self-inflicted, whether consciously or unconsciously. Whether this pressure comes from a genuine desire to improve or staying up late just for a compliment, we must never forget the true purpose of learning. Learning should be a source of joy and fulfillment, not a burden. We are the ones who create the unhappiness in our learning experiences and, in turn, the root of our stress and anxiety. So, what do you think might happen if you allowed yourself to prioritize effort over results and self-acceptance over perfection? How might this shift change how you tackle life’s challenges and tasks?
